I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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