Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize