..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
