Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
