you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
