The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
