dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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