He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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