My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
