If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
