i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
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I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
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I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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