what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
