I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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