I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize