Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.

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(510): View more from California

I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.

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(281): View more from Texas

okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.

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(515): View more from Iowa

She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during

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(313): View more from Michigan

I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?

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(785): View more from Kansas

You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever

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(206): View more from Washington

I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.

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