Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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