tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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