yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
