she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize