we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
