Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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