Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
