Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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