You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Randomize