Im at strip club and am horny
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
