I hate your face
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
