we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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