How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize