just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You are a genius and a whore.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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