Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
