I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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