I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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