I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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