I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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