Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
