I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize