You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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