I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
well you can't waste a boner
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Randomize