Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
