No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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