hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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