Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think people are normalizing furries
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize