I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
