We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize