i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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