Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
