it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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