you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
