No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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