Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
