I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
