just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
