We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You may now shotgun with the bride
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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