I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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