i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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