oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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