Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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