i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
