Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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