i think my mom watched the whole time
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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